


Phil After Dentist

by ahappyphil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2020, Anesthesia, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:10:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26030122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahappyphil/pseuds/ahappyphil
Summary: Phil gets his wisdom teeth removed
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 56
Kudos: 167





	Phil After Dentist

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to @calviniahobbs for beta and being so patient while I clear the writing cobwebs <3

Dan’s calf muscle is sore from bouncing his leg and his phone battery is almost dead after checking the time every 45 seconds. He’s been in this waiting room for what feels like years. And waiting he has been.

It’s a simple wisdom teeth removal. It’s not life or death. Technically the doctor said it would require more work because of the way Phil’s weird ass teeth decided to grow and may be more complicated, but Phil is fine and there is literally nothing to worry about. Probably.

The nurse said they’d call him when he was ready to be taken home and that he could leave, but he politely refused. It felt more like a gentle nudge to get the 6 foot tall ball of anxiety out of the room. He’d rather sit here and watch the clock. 

It’s like Phil somehow transferred all of his hypochondriac tendencies on to him before they sent him back. What if the doctor accidentally takes out his front tooth instead? What if he wakes up from the anesthesia and freaks out and ends up sticking a scalpel in his flesh?

The sound of the door opening and the nurse calling “Lester” snaps him out of the mental image of Phil high off his tits trying to pull an IV out of his arm. 

*  
The actual image of Phil is much more docile than he expected. He’s laid out in the chair, far more comfortable than he should be, smiling despite the mounds of cotton balls shoved in his mouth. 

Dan approaches him and instinctively lays his hand on Phil’s arm to alert him of his presence and also just because it’s been too long since he’s been able to touch him. 

“Hello you.”

“Hi?” Phil’s words come out muffled and slow, but he’s got that classic ‘stranger alert’ meerkat look. “The lady said someone was coming with papers. Is that you? You the paper person?”

He’s spent enough years with all variations of Phil, sleepy and drunk and jet lagged and post orgasm exhausted, to make out what he’s trying to say with relative ease. Dan is skilled at decoding Phil when his mouth and brain won’t cooperate. 

This one may beat them all though, and he’s definitely going to tease him about it once he’s coherent. 

“No, I’m Dan. We’re gonna go home.” 

Phil looks down at where he’s rubbing his thumb up and down his arm and does an attempt at an eyebrow raise. “You goin home wif’ me?”

He muffles a cackle. “Well someone’s going to have to spoon feed you ice cream while your limbs are still jelly.”

Phil lifts the arm Dan isn’t currently stroking for half a second before dramatically flopping it on his stomach and nodding in confirmation. He pauses for a second like he just registered what was promised. “Ice cream?” 

There he is. 

“Yes, idiot. Your plan to have the most complicated tooth extraction in human history worked and now it’s liquid city for the next week, bub.” 

He properly looks Phil in the eye for the first time to be met with blown pupils checking him up and down. 

“You’re fit.” The blatant flirting is significantly impaired by the drool making its way down his chin. 

Dan does let out that cackle this time. “You hitting on me, Lester?” 

“I’m gay by the way. Just so...you know.” It comes out too fast and too slurred for anyone but Dan to understand and he’s still laser focused on the hand tracing circles in his sleeve. 

“I’d hope so. It’d make our wedding awkward AF if not.” He taps the ring on his left hand and lets out a giggle. “Me too, by the way.” 

Phil’s entire face changes into a mixture of absolute confusion and elation. “We’re getting married? You like me?” 

“Yeah. Next year. I kind of love you, you dingus.”

“Oh.” His face is still partially frozen from the medicine, but his tongue still attempts to make an appearance between his teeth. “That’s nice.”

He drifts back to sleep after grabbing Dan’s hand and lacing it with his own and doesn’t let go until the actual paper person shows up 20 minutes later. 

Dan signs the discharge forms claiming responsibility for the stoned mess of a man currently trying to yank the gauze out of his mouth while he’s whining about the texture. It makes him far too fond for his own good. 

Phil conks out on his shoulder in the Uber on the way home and he doesn’t even mind the wet spot on his jumper. 

Once he has Phil settled on the couch and waited the allotted time to take the offending cotton balls out, there’s a missed call from Kath on both of their phones. 

Dan FaceTimes her back and gives the phone to Phil. He heads to the kitchen and starts to make their afternoon coffee, significantly less hot than Phil would normally take it but the man chugs it scalding even when there aren’t holes in his gob. 

He hears Phil rambling and Kath playing along with whatever nonsense he’s trying to get out. Bless her. She’s had even more experience with that than he does. 

Dan makes his way back to the lounge with two mugs in hand. He scooches next to Phil and waves to the camera. Kath gives him a wink and a nod. 

It pulls Phil out of his story enough to look over and give him a smile. He turns back to the phone. 

“That’s Dan. He loves me. We’re gettin’ married!” His goofy grin more noticeable now that he’s free from his cotton wool prison. 

“I know, child.” She does a better job of holding in her laugh than he did. 

They talk until Phil’s eyes grow heavy again and he lays down for a nap on the couch. When he wakes this time, Dan can already tell he’s more aware than before. 

“How ya feeling over there?” He pokes his foot in Phil’s side. “Do we need another formal introduction? Hi, my name is Dan.” 

Phil sits up and rubs the post anesthesia haze from his eyes. “What are you on about?” 

“You really don’t remember?” He’s amused and also a little annoyed at himself for not filming anything before. “Babe, you were fucking out of it.”

“Shut up!” Phil seems scandalized. “No I wasn’t. Just don’t remember….”

Dan would normally argue but he does look just a bit pitiful with his still slightly slack jaw. He gets up to get him a new glass of water when Phil calls for him. 

“Where’s my ice cream?”

**Author's Note:**

> Reblog [here](https://ahappydnp.tumblr.com/post/627084311290626048/phil-after-dentist) :)


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